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Episode
3: Commercial Indigestion
"If you can smell the chicken,
you are too close to my Chicken Selects! Watch out, if I even feel
that you even think about thinking about my Chicken Selects, I will
have to kick you out of my band, go shopping at Wal-Mart, eat shit,
and die!"
McDonalds,
I sincerely hate your marketing department. They make the most annoying
advertisements known to man. "Ba ba ba ba ba! I'm lovin' it!"
What? I'm not "lovin' it." Infact, “I'm fuckin'
hating it!” Anyone who would want to listen to that bullshit
would have to be totally insane. It's has the most annoying person,
saying the most annoying shit, and somehow, in the most annoying
way imaginable. If you don't know what I am talking about by now,
then you probably don't watch primetime TV.
An ad from McDonalds that has some sort of
20ish-30ish non-descript-male figure ranting and raving about how
he doesn't want anyone near his little pieces of chicken breast.
He never shuts up. He comes at you with a relentless verbal assault,
that not only irritates you, but it makes you want to punch a hole
in your TV. I really wonder who makes this shit. "Do you REALLY
think that this is going to fly? That someone in your target market
will identify with this annoying son of a bitch, think about everything
he stands for and realize that McDonalds is a place that he can
identify with and can relate to? Therefore increasing the child’s
inclination to pick McDonalds when looking for a place to eat? FOCK
that shit! I will avoid McDonalds.
Aside:
Michele asked me to get her some food for her break at work. Somehow,
I ended up at McDonalds. I didn't realize I had been enlisted for
brainwashing.

Mike Harris
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